“If you love, you have to love beyond what you think is love,” Johnny Depp said in an article I’ve read months ago. How ironic it is coming from him who are now separated from his long-time partner and run away with a younger chick. Despite all of that, I still felt that he meant what he had said.
In grade school, I remember myself having a crush on my classmate. And when I think about it now, I still don’t know why I admired him that time. Then came high school, I had few crushes on guys that are charming, funny and smart. And when I really like someone, I do silly things just to let him know that I like him. I even gave a love letter to a guy on our graduation day. How embarrassing! I cried, I got jealous, I got mad. It’s a weird kind of feeling when you don’t know exactly what it is, and I thought I’ve had my heart broken many times without even noticing.
Just like everybody else, I started to dream of my ideal guy in my teenage years. A tall, dark and handsome and should looked like my tattooed bad boy, Johnny. Yes, I have high standards so it’s hard to find someone like that. When I first got into a relationship, I really have no idea what to do and if there’s something I should do and don’t. Being into it, I thought in those moments, is just all about happiness, caring, all those kinds of nice things. It never came to my mind of what’s on the other side. I was so young and foolish. But one thing I know for sure, what I’ve felt is love.
After it ended, I’ve learn to understand a lot of things. I understood how it feels to love unconditionally, to let go of the good times and make it into memories, and to make something good out of the mistakes that were made. I started to grow and move forward. Years passed by, many things have changed. I realized I no longer wanted that Johnny Depp kind of guy, but someone who could come along with me all the way. No physical appearances, no specifics, just that.
It’s been almost four years since I’ve met someone like that and now, it’s been two years when we both found love. At first, it’s not the way that I expected it to be and in that short amount of time, it happened instantly. I know I found him when he knelt down and tied my shoe laces while we’re on a side of the street. He’s the orange guy in my dream. Yes, it’s sounds crazy but I guess that’s just how it is.
I’ve been in a relationship, I was happy and I was sad. I’ve been hurt and have hurt someone. I was able to stand up and move forward, and found a new one. I’m still in awe of how much love can do to a person, and how much a person can do just for love. It’s all different from everyone’s perspective but what we all feel is just the same.
When Johnny said those lines, I was reminded of what I believe once about love. That love is selfless and knows no regrets. And that when you love a person, it should be all.
To the person who unlocked my heart with that shoelace, I’ll forever remember that day. ❤